I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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