Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
