ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize