Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I AM VODKA MAN
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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