Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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