No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
