im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
