That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
