I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
they call him Oral-B. enough said
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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