Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
