if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
