The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
