the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
