one might say we're banned from that church
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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