I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
