does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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