is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
