i just google imaged poop.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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