you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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