i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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