yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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