Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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