I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
