I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
