Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
