in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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