Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
