Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
