Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
