I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
