Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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