I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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