You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
