He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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