i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
