Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
