I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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