Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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