last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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