this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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