whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
