Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
