One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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