i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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