is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
