She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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