dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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