I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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