We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
