so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
