Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
