We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
