I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
