It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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