i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
