For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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