Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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