I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
