btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
