who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
